Joe Long

About Joe Long

Joe Long lives in Cayce, South Carolina. He holds a master's degree in history from Georgia College and State University. He has a very patient wife, five homeschooled children, and a job.

Prayers for Rush Limbaugh

One afternoon in 1992, I visited a friend at his quarters on Tyndall Air Force Base. We ate burgers and swapped stories, and then he looked at the clock and turned on the radio. “You gotta hear this guy!” he said with a confident grin. I doubted that. I had tired of “shock jock” DJ

By | 2020-02-09T18:40:07-07:00 February 9th, 2020|Tags: |

Homily for Romney

So, Mitt Romney Schifffted gears; And we listen to them grind, Like his teeth, because the nation’s Left him very far behind.   For the moment, his new friends Smile in cold satisfaction - But he’ll find his Schiffting principles Won’t gain him any traction.   Those who now sing fulsome praise, Found him disgusting,

By | 2020-02-06T19:32:58-07:00 February 6th, 2020|Tags: |

Woke Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling, author of the beloved “Harry Potter” children’s fantasy books, delighted countless children with her works, became wealthy, famous, and admired—then disappointed many conservative parents with her conventional leftist grandstanding. Recently, she disappointed part of the activist Left, too, by endorsing the reality of biological sex. Inhabitants of some fantasy worlds were enraged. The

By | 2020-01-16T19:18:19-07:00 January 16th, 2020|Tags: |

On the Death of a Villain

“Oh, no, now there’ll be a war!” Wails the plaintive Lefty throng Who conveniently ignore That there’s been one, all along— Jihadis, at war with us By their own eager admission— Our policies should cover this Pre-existing condition. Our responses will reveal Who’s Chamberlain-ish, or Rooseveltive: Barry tried the art of the deal. Trump has

By | 2020-01-03T10:59:07-07:00 January 3rd, 2020|Tags: |

Peace(makers) on Earth

During the Christmas-Hanukkah overlap of 2019, the annual festive season for both Christians and Jews was marred by violent reminders that in a hatred-infested world, our fears as well as our joys may intersect. A church shooting in Texas and a machete attack in New York bloodied our respective sacred celebrations. In a variety of

By | 2020-01-02T11:06:52-07:00 January 1st, 2020|Tags: |

Mary, Didja Know?

Mary, didja know How your journey, would be politicized? Mary, did you know How dumb it would get—or have you been surprised? Didja know SJW’s would howl outrageously, At any public ref’rence,  to the Lord’s nativity . . . ? Mary, didja know How your foes would attempt to hijack the stable? How they’d reframe

By | 2019-12-24T16:37:34-07:00 December 24th, 2019|Tags: |

Time in a Bubble

With apologies to the late, great Jim Croce. If I could save Time from its bubble, The first change that I’d like to make— Is, rather than appease Trite left-wing pieties, Give some coverage to news that’s not fake . . .  If I could make somebody famous, And assert that his tale must be

By | 2019-12-11T21:16:36-07:00 December 11th, 2019|Tags: |

Jeffrey Epstein and ‘Fake Noose’

The mysterious strangulation was a staple plot device in the good old days of pulp fiction. Many a swashbuckling swordsman, two-fisted detective, or occult investigator in the “Weird Tales” era encountered, narrowly avoided, or avenged such incidents. Victims in such stories were frequently found with eyes bulging and a “frozen expression of horror,” though one

By | 2019-11-07T09:35:42-07:00 November 5th, 2019|Tags: |

Halloween Costume Blues

That magical time of year is here, when the Left goes out of its way to be the enemy of fun. Hmmm…we’d better narrow that down. That isn’t really a seasonal thing. We refer specifically to the night of Hallowe’en, the evening before the Feast of All Souls. This masquerade event, which has grown to

By | 2019-10-26T16:52:13-07:00 October 26th, 2019|Tags: |

Of NeverChumps and Magaphobes

Two suggested additions to our political taxonomy. We’re familiar with the “NeverTrumper.” He’s a public person on the Right whose principles are ever-so-refined. Somehow, though, in the refining process, those principles finally coalesced around blind resentment of a single individual. The NeverTrumper is a curiosity of the current moment in time. One day he’ll end

By | 2019-10-12T05:48:17-07:00 October 11th, 2019|Tags: |

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